What Should I Think About When Working with Families Living in Poverty?

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Let's talk about how you can help families because when you help families you automatically help the children. I want to share some ways that we can help support families and be a part of the solution to help families thrive. I'll share some of the things that I've done that have worked, and I'm sure you can think of some things that work for you at your centers and in schools. 

Start by being open and welcoming when to families when they visit. I don't want to say I try to go overboard, but I try to be very conscious that not everyone had good experiences in school. We can't just assume that parents are comfortable coming to our classroom. Have a smile, give a warm welcome, and let parents know that they are welcome. Try to use your body language and get to know families.

Try to be flexible and creative with parents when you are scheduling parent-teacher conferences, meetings, and classroom events. Remember, not everyone can take time off work. I know this seems really obvious, but it's amazing how many teachers forget and get so angry and assume that the parents don't care when they don't show up. Know that transportation can often be an issue, especially if families are using public transportation to get to your parent conference or events. Remember that sometimes they have to choose between going to work and getting paid or going to that parent-teacher conference or parent-family conference. Try to be as flexible as possible. Another option is to provide childcare if needed. I've seen multiple teachers get angry that the parents have brought their children. Not everyone has someone around that can watch the child. Again, just know that if you are truly committed to wanting to talk with the parent, then you may have to provide childcare or be flexible with your schedule to meet theirs.

Ask parents how they prefer to be contacted. Some of the schools I've been at, yes, our families had phones, but they were often phones that would continuously run out of minutes or their numbers would change. The email was spotty for many families. Our most creative way to communicate with families was the most effective. We would print stickers or have a pen with a piece of paper on the back of the shirts or jackets on children when they went home. This was a good alternative for those families who didn't check their email or didn't have the means to check it because phones were disconnected. Know your families. Yes, a lot of people have mobile phones now, even people who may struggle financially, but we can't assume that's how they want to be reached. Just ask families how they want to be communicated with and then be creative.

As an administrator, I have sometimes struggled with teachers who want to be creative and come up with fun ways to include families. Sometimes they don't realize that these fun and creative things are actually adding additional financial pressures on the family. For example, we had spirit week at a preschool I worked at and we asked each family to dress their child in a different color every day. I've also seen this done where you ask parents to dress their child in their favorite college team shirt for College Day.

These are additional pressures on families who are already may have multiple jobs or are financially pressed and feeling good if they can have clothes that their children are wearing to school. Making sure that they put the right color on their child or even having to go out and purchase something extra, like a college shirt, is a lot of extra pressure. I've seen it with Dr. Seuss Day where children dress up like a Dr. Seuss character as well. Yes, there are many ways to do that without purchasing anything, but if there are, send home some ideas that are no cost as opposed to those parents feeling like they need to go out and buy a really fancy costume for their child.

All parents, especially those who are struggling financially, find they are lacking quality time with their children. Provide creative ways parents can spend more quality time with their children. A lack of time is one of the main parental needs and challenges people report having when faced with economic challenges. It's important to help parents deal with that challenge. We're already doing that when we provide safe and wonderful classrooms and childcare centers for them, but here are some other ways.

One of the things that I encourage all schools to do is create a family resource room, which has information about community resources. These can be anything from books that are resources on different topics to a list of resources for where they can go to find different things. In the past, I've had a lot of books, DVDs, toys, and children's books that families can check out and take home and read with their children. It's nice to have materials such as manipulatives or toys that families can check out for their children to play with at home.

Creating different kinds of events for family fun is a great way to build community. Much of the research shows that all families need more community and that social capital that I was talking about. We can help build that amongst our parents in several ways. We've done cooking nights where we provide food while helping families cook with their children.  These are really fun and provide an opportunity to model for parents and hear about how they cook at home with their families. You can also talk about healthy food and how cooking can be a math activity.  They are a great way to get to know your families.

Another popular event I've done is having a garage sale night or day. Families and the whole community can drop off things to sell at this garage sale such as outgrown clothes, shoes, and children's toys. Cleats and dance shoes are really expensive and hard for parents to get and this gives them an opportunity to get them at a lower cost. We charged everyone a quarter for items because we wanted them to be very affordable for everyone. It was interesting because I would see beautiful books, strollers, and even cribs going for a quarter. If you have a hard time getting parents to come to your events, try this. It's a great way to have family participation and at one point, we had almost 100% participation in this.

You can also host a family game night where children and families play different games with each other. This is always good because we want families to be able to play together and learn together. This gives them an opportunity to get to know each other and build supports as well. If parents aren't coming to your family resource room you can send home information about community resources and free events in your community.  Again, free is important for working with families living in poverty.

I think a lot of times new teachers or teachers who are transitioning from one school to another are concerned about working with families and are worried they might say the wrong thing, or they don't want to pry. I understand these concerns and I've worked with families who were new immigrants or who lived in populations that were homeless. I was nervous that I would say the wrong thing or offend someone too. Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you will have no time to love them." I go back to this so often in my work because I think it's better to come from a place of wanting to learn about families and being genuine. That's where we need to be in order to work alongside families, rather than just trying to judge them. This quote means so much to me and I actually have a beautiful painting of this above my desk. I don't think you can go wrong if you just come from the assumption that most parents and families want to do the best for their children. They want better for their children than they have. As teachers, if we can partner with families we'll go so much further when we're working with them. 

This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course, Teaching, Caring, and Advocating for Children and Families Living in Poverty, presented by Kenya Wolff, PhD.