Question
How can I communicate my needs and preferences to receive validation and affirmation from my coach or manager?
Answer
Words of affirmation is one of the languages of appreciation you can leverage to communicate your needs for validation and support. Depending on individual preferences, this could involve seeking personal thank-yous or public recognition. While some thrive on public acknowledgment, others prefer more private forms of appreciation, such as an email or a thank-you note.
The challenge lies in providing meaningful and specific feedback rather than generic praise. This is where what I call the "good job challenge" comes into play. Instead of using vague terms like "good job," offering individualized feedback that connects behaviors to outcomes is essential. For example, acknowledging the impact of specific actions and tying them to tangible results fosters authenticity and validation. One example is, "When you did X, Y happened."
This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course Reflective Practice as Your Superpower: Coaching From the Recipient’s Perspective, presented by Kati Vaughn, BA, MA.
