Question
What strategies can I employ when coaching feels disconnected, overly personal, or judgmental?
Answer
When coaching encounters rough patches where things aren't working for you, it's important to address them constructively. Here are some suggestions for navigating these situations:
Note your feelings: What is coming to the surface? There's brain science around assigning language to your feelings and helping to de-escalate the neurons that are firing in your brain. Before you speak up or that conversation may end, try naming your feelings to help calm your mind and provide clarity.
Use "I" statements and clarifying questions to express your perspective and seek understanding. This fosters open communication and personal responsibility.
Examine the data. What do you know to be true? Data can be a powerful tool. Ask your coach or manager about the data they're using to inform their feedback. Understanding the basis of their assessments can provide context and clarity to your discussions.
By employing these strategies, you can navigate challenges in coaching relationships effectively. This approach focuses on the actual teaching practice or work at hand, promoting constructive dialogue and growth.
This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course Reflective Practice as Your Superpower: Coaching From the Recipient’s Perspective, presented by Kati Vaughn, BA, MA.
